Pink Heart Marshmallows

H first came into our lives in December of 2010.  At least that's when our SW sent us a 1 paragraph email about a 5 year old little girl from Milwaukee.  H was not our first referal for a child, but she was the first one we felt would be a good fit with our family.  With 4 sons at home we had to make sure we were not puting them at exceptional risk.  I also was not interested in a baby, been there, done that.  We're a working family always on the run with church, school, family, and athletic activities.  Any child joining our family needed to be able to keep up with us.  H seemed like a perfect match.  Steve and I asked for a few days to talk to the boys and to pray about H.  It was not an easy decision, afterall, who gets to "pick out" their children?  We only knew such a limited amount of information about her, her history and any "issues" she may have.  We decided to put our trust in God and to give the decision to him.  That's when we just knew she was the one for us.  We contacted the SW and started visitations.  The children's court system is quite backed up and takes what seems like forever to make any progress.  We had to wait to meet H until the courts had completed the TPR process.  They had a date set for early January.  Then mid January, then Late January.  Finally, the SW decided we couuld start visitations on the weekends.  We met H in person on the 5th of February, 2011.  We were at her therapist's office talking about how to proceed once we met when all of a sudden we heard quick little footsteps coming down the hall.  We looked up to see the most beautiful little girl standing in the doorway nervously looking back at us.  I remember that she had a baggie with pink heart marshmallows in it in her hand.  She smiled at us and slowly raised the baggie asking if we wanted to try one.  Of course we did.  That was the beginning...   That's how a simple pink marshmallow ended up being the most effective ice breaker ever!  After that day, we saw H every weekend until she finally came to stay with us on April 17th.  We found out later that the delay in the TPR process was due to H's birth mother not showing up for scheduled hearings.  The TPR was rescheduled for this reason 4 times, then the judge granted TPR without her present.  H's birth mother's appointed attorney filed an appeal on her behalf.  We heard at our last SW visit that it is now a "no merrit appeal".  I guess it's just a matter of time.  Since her arrival, we have had fun learning all about AA hair and skin care.  We've come a long ways in our learning as we often sit by the computer watching and re-watching You Tube videos on how to do different hair styles.  We've also been to Orlando to visit Mickey and Minnie Mouse.  (It was a trip already planned before we knew H would be with us by that time.)  It was a fun, but challenging trip as we were still in the building relationship stage.  Since then we've survived a long hot summer.  H went from being afraid of the water in the shower, to swimming like a little fish!  She was still in Kindergarden when she moved in and was able to finish out the school year with her new class.  That was a great opportunity for her and her classmates to get to know each other.  Now she's in first grade and seeming to be more cmfortable each day.  It's been an amazing journey so far, but it's only the beginning.  We're hoping to complete the adoption by the end of 2011.  This blog is my way of recording as much of her story as I can for our friends and family, but mostly for H as she grows.  We are so very blessed to have H in our family.