Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day weekend is supposed to be about taking a break from our "labors", therefore we get an extra day off of work.  The funny thing is; as a mom of 6, being home from my 9 - 5 job is much more "work" than being there.  It's definitely a labor of love!  Today my sister, Shelby, came over with her 3 kids.  We cleaned the house, washed the dogs and worked in the back yard.  House work and yard work are so much more fun with help.  Here are the cousins hanging out together. 

                                                                     The Girls...

 

The Boys...

 

The Captain....???!!!???

 

Looks like Steve's "got a little Captain in him"!  Working hard, or hardly working...???

 

Ahh, then we eat!  What a great summer meal.  Chicken wings on the tri-pod cooked over a bonfire, (per special request from the boys, it's a camping favorite!), fresh cucumber salad with cucumbers from the garden, corn on the cob, watermelon, and homemade buttered noodles, yummm!  Of course there were S'mores for desert while sitting by the fire.  It doesn't get any better than this. 

 

Sitting around the fire after a long, crazy day, sippin' on a Twisted Tea, talking, laughing and making memories with my family....priceless! 

 

From Dr. King to President Obama

On an August afternoon in 1963, Dr King, the Baptist preacher and civil rights leader, drew the largest crowd the country had witnessed as he delivered his "I have a dream" speech, a call for racial equality that resignates still to this day.

Yesterday, under rainy skies, America's first black president stood on the same spot; at the same time of day, to reflect on the progress that has been made towards Dr. King's dream exactly 50 years later.

This is an important day, an important historical event.  I am not making a political statement of any kind.  I'm thinking about this event from the perspective of a mother of children growing in a world where the color of your skin can shape how you are viewed and treated.  

I wonder how Dr. King might have felt knowing that within 50 years of his speech an African American president would be standing exactly where he stood addressing the American people on the issue of race and equality; just as he had.  Would he be shocked at our progress?  Would he be proud of where we are today?  Or would he be enraged that we still have so far to go?  Would he be saddend that the topic of racial equality pertaining to jobs, income, representation in positions of power, representation in prisons is still such a dominate issue in our society today?  I can only imagine.

One of my favorite exerpts from Dr. King's, I have a Dream speech is this:

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

As a mother of 2 African American daughters this is one of my biggest concerns.  At times I worry that my girls will have to have that much more strength of character to receive the same treatment in the world as someone with white skin.  I'd like to think this is just me being sensitive for them, but I know, in some ways, this is very true.  And this weighs very heavy on my heart, this huge responsibility to somehow teach and mold my girls so that the world will see how amazingly wonderful they are on the inside when many will never be able to get past the outside. 

            50 years ago, Dr. King also said;

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together." 

 

This is really what it's all about.  This is the one thing that has been the same 50 years ago, 50 years from now, and forever. 

 

 



 

Holding onto Summer

Sunday the girls and I went to the beach to enjoy the sand and surf.  It's been hot here and the beach is such a great place to spend an afternoon.  None of the guys wanted to go with us, their loss I guess. 

We played in the sand and built sandcastles.  Didn't they turn out nice?  M had started a two tower castle in a different part of the beach.  She spend almost an hour quietly building and shaping, and decorating her castle with shells and rocks.  Then two little boys, with their parents watching, ran over and destroyed her castle..  :(   The mom snickered at the boys but did nothing.  M ran over to me and cried.  It was a great teaching opportunity about kindness and forgiveness.  Thank you Lord for these opportunities!  We decided to build another castle together away from the boys. 

 

We think they turned out pretty awesome! 

 

This particular free beach even has a playground we like to run around on while we dry off before going home. 

 

 

 

(ok, so I need to figure out how to rotate my photos, always new things to learn.  I'm open to instructions if anyone knows a quick and easy way)

 

Summer doesn't last very long where we live.  We need to take advantage of every sunny day we are blessed with.  This was a perfect way to do just that! 

 

Later that night when we were getting ready for bed, M ran up and gave me a big hug saying, "Mommy, I'm never going to leave you!"  to which I replied, "Honey, I'm never going to let you go."  and squeezed her back. 

 

Thank you Jesus! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Years Ago and Today

 
 

   

Ten years ago I had 4 boys in my living room on any given Saturday afternoon.  They were 11, 7, 4, and 3.  My house was full of Legos, hot wheels and dinosaurs. Kids were sword fighting with paper towel tubes and hunting tigers behind my sofa.  We've seen entire cities build of Legos, raging wars between dinosaur heards, and boobie trapped forts strewn across the yard.  Ten years ago my biggest fear was someone getting hurt physically.  My biggest frustration was stepping on sharp little Legos in my bare feet and the boys jumping off the furniture.  My biggest joy was watching the boys together, bonded as a family unit no matter what they were playing.









                              

Today it's Saturday 10 years later.  The boys are not home, they are all off with friends or working.  Today I have two little girls playing in my living room.  They are 5 and 8.  Instead of Legos, Hot Wheels, and Dinosaurs; I have Barbies, Polly Pockets, and Princesses all over the house.  Today I see a fashion show on the sofa, a tea party in the corner and a castle under the dining room table.   Today my biggest fear is someone getting hurt emotionally, my biggest frustration is sassy tone in a voice and stepping on sharp little Barbie shoes in my bare feet.  Today my biggest joy is watching my two little girls play together, bonded as a family unit no matter what they are playing. 

             

Life is different in may ways today from 10 years ago, yet in many more ways it's still the same.  I feel so blessed to be able to have these experiences as a mom, both ten years ago and today.  Ten years from now my kids will be 31, 27, 24, 23, 18, and 15. I wonder what my living room will be full of then... 
 

Camping

 

Camping

 

 

Camping went better than I expected.  Below is a picture of Kam and his 2 little sisters.  He can be so good with them.  He's even wearing Harmony's sunglasses because she told him he looked good in them.  We're not allowed to share images of M until she's adopted so this is the best we can do for now. 

 

M loves to be outside, she swims like a little fish, and even slept well through the nights.  We had our first big meltdowns while camping.  Lucky for us they happened at our cabin so we could go inside and wait her out.  All of us handle these so much better this time around.  We knew they would come so we were expecting them.  It's actually a good thing.  It means M is starting to feel comfortable around us and safe enough to loose control with us.  The recovery after a melt down allows us to show her that we still love her no matter what she does.  This is how we become a family. 

 

 

She's home

                                                   

She's home!  Talk about 0 to 60 in no time flat.  We were planning on picking M up tomorrow to take her on our camping trip for the next 4 days.  Foster mom called me last evening stating that M's therapy session on Monday didn't go so well.  She was crying and saying that everybody is leaving her.  She ran out of the room and wouldn't go back in.  When foster mom was telling me this, my heart was heavy.  It was heavy for M who was obviously struggling with all the changes in her life.   And here I am praying for yet another change, moving to our home.  I know we can give her a good home, a strong faith and as much love as she can hold, but first she must face yet another move, another loss of a family she has grown to finally trust and love.  This makes me sad, as I already cannot understand why this precious little person has had to endeaur so many losses and hurts in her little life.  And now I have to put her through that pain one more time.  My solace lies in knowing God is good and will guide, love, protect and heal M and the rest of us for as long as he allows us here on earth.  We prayed and prayed and prayed about this decision to embark on this journey again.  It's not an easy journey for anyone involved, yet Steve and I both felt called to do it again.  If God calls us He will help us.  He will give M the strength she needs to get through this move, and us the strength to love her through the storm.  This will be her last home untill she is grown and chooses to leave on her own. 

When I heard that therapy wasn't going well and that M was really struggling with this transition, I thought for sure we would be told to slow the process down for her.  To my surprise, foster mom next said, "I say, if your going  to take her for 4 days, you might as well keep her".  What???  Really??  I said that we were 100% willing to take her, but had to follow the SW plan.  Foster mom called the SW, who called me and said that she was fine with us keeping M after our camping trip!!  That was yesterday.  Last night we worked till 10:30pm putting the bunk bed together and making room for M, as we were not expecting the actual move for another couple weeks.   We didn't get everything we wanted to get done, done but that's ok.  M won't know the difference or care.  She will be safe, and loved that's what really matters.  The rest we will figure out in time.  For now, she's home and my heart feels complete.  Thank you Lord for all of your amazing blessings! 

waiting with glow pets

Another day of waiting.  It's now been 4 days since we've seen M.  I am trying to be patient, but the more we get to spend time with her, the more we bond.  It gets harder and harder to let days go by without some sort of communication whether it's how she adjusted after a visit with us, or just if she's having a good or bad day.  I try not to be too pesky with the SW's or foster mom, but it's just hard.  Yesterday was M's 5th birthday.  We gave her a birthday gift on the 4th when we had her.  It was a glow pet.  We thought it would be nice for her first night in a new place.  Harmony's birthday is just 10 days before M's.  Harmony had been asking for one of these for months.  She also received one for her birthday.  So the girls had "sister glow pets".  They both took them down to the park to watch fireworks.  Harmony's is the seal and M's is the unicorn. 


        What a great stuffed animal this is.  It's filled with LED lights so they never get hot and the lights are so small you cannot feel them.  They even have a timer option so they will go off once your little one falls asleep.  M and Harmony love theirs. 

Anyways, back to the waiting... yesterday I texted foster mom to wish M a happy birthday and to ask how she was after our visit.  No answer all day.  Then this morning I texted again, how was M's birthday?  Was she ok after our overnight?  No answer.  Then this afternoon I texted, "Is something wrong? "  Maybe I'm being pushy, but it was our first overnight and that can be a big deal.  How M handles that is important.  I called the SW to see if she had heard anything.  She had not, but was going to check for us.  Later this afternoon foster mom finally texted, "Everything is fine".  Ok, that's all I was asking for, I guess. 

                                                 

The judge gave his written decision of TPR on the 3rd.  Today M has therapy and is going to be told that she will be moving to live with us.  I don't know what time therapy is, but I'm praying she is ok.  As much as we are excited about this new adventure, I know she is afraid and sad to know she will be leaving her foster family.  It's bitter sweet really.  I know that this fagile little girl has to go through one more big loss and hurt before getting to us forever.  That breaks my heart. 

Hopefully tomorrow the SW will call and let us know the final plan for visits and a move. 

 

Emails and Visits

I'm going to share the emails back and forth between us and the social worker through now as they really are the best summary of what's been happening.  I know this is long, but it is nice to see how the transition/visitatin process goes.  As you can see, our adventure started on May 1st and today is July 6th.  We just had our first overnight, and no move date yet.  I'm trying to be patient and trust that everything will work out in God's time. 

May 1, 2013

From us to SW:

Yeah, Spring and yeah, a little girl!  We would like to be considered for M, and we'd like to see a photo when you get one.  We would like to know more about her, her needs, and history.  Where is she living now?  How long has she been in foster care?  Things like that first.
We've discovered an awesome dog park just outside our town and have all, including the dogs, been enjoying being outdoors in the sunshine.
Just last night Harmony saw the streak across the sky of a jet plane and thought it was a shooting star.  Her brothers corrected her and then they were all talking about what their wish would be if it had been a falling star.  All the boys were talking about thier wishes, and Harmony was just quiet.  Then I asked her what she would wish for...  she said in a quiet little voice... a sister.

From SW to us:

I am waiting to hear back from the worker.  I can let you know more when I do.  I have not received the picture yet.  I believe that she has been in foster care for a while because they are at the TPR phase and don’t want to TPR without a resource.  She was previously in an adoptive home but there was a disruption.  I am unsure of the reason.

May 17, 2013

From SW to us:

I have heard news!  The worker would like to consider your family for M, so I am going to connect with her today and see if she can give you a call.  After you talk and you feel you still want to proceed, I will ask her to get a packet of information ready for you to review.

From us to SW:

That is wonderful!  This part of the process confuses me a little.  When you say the worker would like to consider us, does that mean that she is considering other families as well at the same time?  Or do they just consider one family at a time?
From SW to us:

I don’t believe that she is considering any other families at this moment.  They usually only pursue one family at a time.  Maybe that would be a better way to put it.  I guess I say consider because you could always hear the information and not want to move forward.  Just a poor choice of words on my part☺

May 21, 2013

From us to SW:

M's SW still has not called me.  We have so many questions and really
are excited to learn more about M.  I know you are all super busy,
and I'm trying to be patient.  Just wanted to touch base with you.

From SW to us:

I actually just spoke to her yesterday in person because I was at a meeting with her.  I know she plans to call you very soon.  Hopefully you will hear from her today.  I know it is hard to be patient in a situation as exciting as this.  Just get your questions ready and written out:) 

* we spoke with M's SW on May 23rd.  She shared a more detailed history of M and answered many of our questions.  She informed us that there was court on the 30th for TPR.  This is an important step in the process.  Untill this is established, M could always be returned to her birth mother and we may not get to be a part of her life.  Of course we were very anxious to hear how this turned out.  But again we waited...

*Our SW called us on June 3rd to tell us the court hearing was continued later this month.  In the mean time we proceed with the transition process of getting to know M and planning for her move to our home as a foster placement. 

May 22, 2013:

From us to SW:

Hi Christine,
I finially was able to talk with Jessica about M.  Her story is so sad, but she is young and sounds like a strong little girl.  It sounds like she has so much potential if we can just help her heart to heal.  I talked with Steve after talking with Jessica.  We both are very committed to her and the process.  Jessica will be arranging a meeting at our home for M's team, you and Steve and I for next week Tuesday afternoon.  We're excited to learn more about M and to start planning to meet her.  Thank you again for all of your support through this roller coaster of a process.

June 3, 2013:

From us to SW:

I don't mean to be pesty, but I'm wondering how court went last
Thursday and if we are going to be able to meet M this week.

From SW to us:

Hi ReBecca-
>
> I am so sorry. I have been dealing with an emergency and didn’t get a
> chance to call you last week. We finished all the testimony from the
> court hearing; however, the Judge indicated that he needed some time
> to think about his final decision. Our next court hearing is scheduled
> for June 21st at 1:30pm. Because we do not have a final decision, I
> want to talk to M's therapist (Kate) about what is the best way
> to introduce you at this point while the TPR is still pending. As soon
> as I am able to touch base with her, I will give you a call with a
> plan for meeting M. Thank you so much for your patience with all
> of this. I am very excited for M to meet you!!

From us to SW:

I'm not sure if you got my phone message or not. Steve and I have talked
and prayed about M.  We both feel strongly about supporting her
regardless of what happens.  We're excited to move forward.  Just let
just let us know when we can plan to meet her.  Thanks for all of your
help with this process.  Thanks!

June 6, 2013

From SW to us:

Hi ReBecca,
This is great news! I am so excited. The next step is for me to talk with M's current foster parents about what their
Kate (M's therapist) stated that it would be best for you to meet M in her current foster home or in the community to start. Can you provide me with your availability of what days/times work best for you?
Also, I am going to put together a contact sheet of all the names and numbers of people involved in M's team. Then you can also start contacting service providers as well. I am hoping to talk with the foster parents today or tomorrow morning and will then give you a call.
Thanks!!

From us to SW:

We are very excited as well.  Harmony and I were out shopping yesterday looking at little girl clothes, wondering what sizeM wears and if she has clothes, shoes, coats, bedding, toys, etc.  Steve and I can be available most any time with a little notice.  We can talk more about those details when you call.

June 10, 2013

From SW to us:

Hi Rebecca-
I had an opportunity to speak with M's foster parents and they are definitely open to having you come to their home to meet her. The only problem is that they are out of town this week and M is in respite so we will have to hold off for one more week. I am including the foster parent's information below. Feel free to give them a call to set something up. I believe they get back next Monday (6/17). Please let me know if there if you have any difficulties getting in contact with the foster parents or need assistance facilitating anything. Thanks so much for your patience! We are getting closer :)

June 20, 2013:

From us to SW:

Hi Christine,
I just wanted to touch base with you to let you know that I finally was able to talk to M's foster mom yesterday and I will be meeting them this afternoon. Just me today.  We're going to a park.  We're going to set up another visit for Steve and I on Sunday afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes.  Happy Day!   :)
ReBecca

June 21, 2013

From SW to us:

Hey ReBecca-
Just wanted to check in and make sure you have been able to touch base with the current foster mother about scheduling a visit with M. We have court this afternoon so I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Thanks!

From us to SW:

Hi Jessica,
I actually went to the foster home to meet M yesterday at the foster parent's home.  We; foster mom and I and M (as they and we will call her for short), went for a walk and had watermellon in the back yard.  The guardian ad litem stopped by the house to talk with foster mom and sat down with me to briefly chat about Steve and I and our level of commitment. I assured her we are 100% committed to whatever, for however long M needs us.  She told me about court today.  I'm anxiously waiting to hear how that goes.  Steve and I and Harmony are planning to go to the foster home to visit again on Sunday.  M said that she'd like to go to a park. foster mom will, of course, go with us.  M was sweet, yet quite hesitant of me yesterday.  We just hung out as friends, no talk of anything more. When foster mom went inside to talk with the Guardian ad litem, M and I were outside with foster dad and the other kids.  then M approached me and sat next to me, then slowly leaned on me.  I asked her if she wanted to sit on my lap while we ate watermellon, she said yes.  It's good to see her bonded with the foster parents, they are wonderful people, and are doing a great job with M.
Please let me know what happens in court today.  Thanks!

* The SW called me the next day to let me know how court went.  She said that the judge heard all of the testimony but wanted time to process and will give his decision in writting within the next 10 business days.  More waiting...

* My first time meeting M was on Wednesday June 23rd.  I was off of work and went to the foster home to spend a little time with M.  She was quite shy and quiet, maybe scared and confused too.  From my perspective she was a beautiful little girl with a sparkel in her eyes and a smile that melted my heart. 

* Steve and I went the next Saturday to visit again. 

June 24, 2013

From us to SW:

Happy Monday Ladies!
We met with M and the foster family yesterday.  We visited at their
home and went to a park to play.  This time Steve and I went and we also
took Harmony with us.  M seemed more relaxed and willing to interact
with all of us this visit.  We were there for about 3 hours.  The
foster family made food, so we ate a late lunch together, then we spent
time jumping rope, blowing bubbles and drawing with sidewalk chalk.  M
wanted to go to the park so foster dad took us and all the kids to a school
playground to play on.  There we played on the sand went down the slide
and played on the swings together.  M was a little timid of Harmony,
and Harmony was very guiet and gentle with M.
M was much more comfortable with me this visit. She sat by me, held my
hand and asked to sit on my lap at different times.  She played with me
at the park nice as well.  A couple of times I had to redirect her; one
time she spit water on me and another time she threw garbage on the
ground.  Each time I addressed the behavior gently, and she reponded
well.  She appologized for spitting and picked up her garbage and placed
it into a garbage can.  I have some concern about M's academic and
emotional readiness for Kindergarten.  For example, she is not sure of
colors, is not able to write her name, and was not able to sing her
ABC's.  We can talk more about this later.
After my first visit on Wednesday, foster mom reported that M had a
difficult time sleeping and was acting up significantly for her.  I have
not heard how she did last night.  I know she has a therapy session
today.  I hope things go well for that.  We have not made any plans for
another visit as we are waiting to see what the two of you and the
therapist suggest.  Please keep us informed as to what we should do
next.
Thank you both for all of your help and suppot in this!
ReBecca
June 25, 2013

From us to SW:

Hi ladies,
I have off of work tomorrow and am wondering if I should be setting up a
visit with M.
ReBecca

From SW to us:

Hello,
Sounds like things are really moving along.  That is great! Do you guys feel comfortable moving quickly?  I know the slow transition was hard on everyone with Harmony.  How did she feel about the visit this weekend?  Thank you for keeping me up to date.  I hope as time goes on M gets more and more comfortable.
Christine

From SW to us:

Hey ReBecca-
Yes, I think that would be great. I talked with foster mom about having you pick up M and do something with her alone in the community (if you are comfortable with that). I met withM's treatment team today and the therapist is thinking that the quicker we move, the better. I want to hook you up with the service providers but I have to get consent forms signed first, so we have to hold on a little bit longer before you can connect with them. In the meantime, whatever you and foster mom want to arrange in terms of visits is fine with me.
I'm glad the visit on Saturday went well for the most part. I think this transition is going to be difficult for M but obviously very rewarding in the long run! :) Keep me posted on what you and foster mom work out and let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Also, I am going to grad school this fall and will be temporarily leaving the agency to do so. My last day will be at the end of July. I am going to continue to work with you and M until that time but wanted you to have some notice in advance. The new worker will be SG and I have included her on this e-mail. She has already started attending meetings related to M and we are hoping for a smoother transition in doing it this way. I have not told M that I am leaving; however, the foster parents are aware and have met SG.
Again, thanks for everything and let me know if you need anything!

From us to SW:

Hi Jessica,
Congratulations on going back to school, although it has been nice working with you so far and I'd like you to be able to follow M through the move to our home.  I'm sure SG will be good as well. Foster mom and I have been talking, and I'm going to go take M out for a couple hours on my own tomorrow afternoon.  I'm thinking the zoo if it's nice.  We can just take our time and walk around.  We would like to see her again this upcoming weekend so Steve can spend a little time with her again.  Have you heard anything from the judge concerning the TPR?
ReBecca

June 27, 2013:

From us to SW:

Hi ladies,
I went to spend time with M yesterday afternoon.  My son Dominic and I took her to the Betty Brimm Children's museum.  It went very well.  She ran up to me and gave me a hug when I arrived at her home, then was happy to go with me in my van.  At the museum she was good, very busy and ran from one thing to another, it's a pretty stimulating environment.  If I called her name she stopped and looked at me.  She listened well, and interacted well with my son.  She didn't want to leave the museum, but did follow along after a couple minutes.  No tears or yelling.  We got an ice cream and ate it outside.  We took her back home when our time was up and she asked if Dominic and I coudl stay and play for a while.  When we told her that we had to go home she climbed back in our van and said that she wanted to go with us.  She refused to come out of the van for a few minutes.  We told her that we would come back to see her soon.  She then got out of the van and said good bye. We'd like to see her again over the weekend if you both think that is appropriate.  I'm not sure how often or quick we should move.  So far things seem to be going well, but I don't think she knows about moving yet.  We have not said anything about that and I know the foster parents have not either.
Let us know how we should proceed.
Thanks for all of your support!
ReBecca

July 1, 2013

From us to SW:

Good morning and happy Monday ladies !
Steve, Harmony and I had a great visit with M yesterday.  We picked
her up at noon and took her to the Milwaukee Zoo for the afternoon.  She
did great with us, she stayed by us and was very well behaved, easily
redirectable when needing to be redirected.  We brought her home by 6
pm.  She was fine all day, she was asking us questions about our house,
our other kids, and said that "the worker said it was ok for me to go to
your house".  I'd like to talk with you, SW, about the next steps.
Foster mom called when we were on our way home stating that M was already
acting up at home.  I know she's confused.  Any idea when we can start
telling her about her move.  I really do not like being dishonest with
her.  She's a smart girl and knows something is happening.  I think it
would be good for all of us to be able to listen to her and talk with
her about this before it happens so she has time to process it.  the foster mom
had mentioned us doing an overnight next, then maybe a move.  We do have
a 4 day camping trip planned for July 11th-14th.  We would be happy to
take M if we are at that point by then.  I'd just like to know the
plan so I can plan appropriately.  Please give me a call
Thanks.
ReBecca

From SW to us:

ReBecca,
I'm so glad the visit went well! I am going to forward this on to M's therapist to get her input and then I will give you a call. I'm assuming she will say the quicker we move, the better; but I just want to make sure. I e-mailed the GAL on Friday to see if anyone had received a decision from the Judge regarding the TPR but it is not in yet.
As soon as I speak with the therapist, I will call you. I am also going to try to get consents signed by mom today or tomorrow so you can talk to the therapist as well.
Thanks for the update and talk to you soon!

From us to SW:

Thanks for responding so quick. :)  I think it would be great if I could speak with M's therapist directly.  It feels as though communication is always coming second hand at this point, although I know that is just how it has to be.  M is such a sweet little girl who has already been through so much.  It's hard to hear that she is struggling with this after our visits.  We are ready for her as soon as her team feels it's best for her.  I'm interviewing child care facilities this week so we will have that set up and I'm starting the registration for 4K in our school district just in case, (the registration is due this month).  I want to leave that option open for her.  I strongly feel that she is not ready for kindergarden this upcoming school year, and I want her to feel ready so she can have a sucessful school experience when she does go. Yesterday Harmony and M played Alphabet bingo in the car.  She was not able to identify any of the letters.  Harmony and M each drew a flower picture.  Harmony wrote her name on her picture, and asked M if she could write the letters from her name too.  She could not write any. Harmony wrote it for her then she traced it, but struggled with even that.  I know I'm rambling, sorry, I just have a lot running through my head.  I look forward to hearing from you later today.  Thanks!

* On July 3, 2013 the SW called me to let me know that they had received the judges written decision and that he ruled for TPR.  she warned me that there will most likely be an appeal process next, but that this ruling is very important and will stand unless new evidence is presented. 

July 5, 2013

From us to SW:

Hi ladies,
We had a really good day with M on July 4th.  We picked her up a little after 8am and brought her back to our house.  Our family all went to the parade in the morning.  The parade route is walking distance from our home so we walked down.  M did great for the first hour and a half, then was getting hot and restless.  I took her back to the house and Steve stayed with the other kids.  She was fine once we got home and played with a baby doll in the stroller.  Later we went to a friends house for a cook out and swimming.  She was great!  Steve and I each had to do one time out with her, but not for anything major.  One time she was going up on the pool deck after being told several times not to.  I just walked up to her and told her she was going to have to sit in time out for a few minutes for not listening.  She walked right over to the time out lawn chair and sat quietly.  After a couple minutes I approached her and asked her why she had to sit.  She knew that she had gone up to the pool deck when she was told not to.  I explained to her that we want her to be safe, and she needed to wait until a grown up was in the pool to go in.  She seemed to understand, said she was sorry, and was done.  I know we are still very new and she is most likely honeymooning, but it was good to see that she understands the concept of timeouts and is able to take a time out without major incident.  Those were the only times for the entire 2 days.  She played nice with all the other kids, swam like a fish in the pool, has no fear of water.  She approached Steve and I when she needed things or had questions.  She asked us to "cuddle her up" with a towel when she was cold, and called us mom and dad, like all the other kids.  She scrapped her toe by the pool and appropriately came to me to make her feel better.  Our friends has a little bike with training wheels and a helmet that their daughter has outgrown.  They said Mya could have them.  She was so excited when she saw it!  She rode that bike all around singing about riding a bike. It was so cute!  She ate well (for a little girl) and when it was time to go, told everybody goodbye and happy 4th.  That evening we went to the fireworks down at the park.  She was not afraid at all, but was more interested in her stuffed animal and the other kids than the fireworks. We got home late and everyone got ready for bed.  She didn't want to go to bed, but after a story, prayers and me sitting in the room for a while, maybe 30 minutes, with a book reminding her it was time to lay down quietly she fell asleep and slept all night.  She woke up around 7:30am.  We made pancakes, per M's request, she ate well, took her pills well and then played with Harmony for a while until it was time to go back to to her foster home.  She fell asleep on the way there as it is about an hour drive.  When we got to the foster home she clung to foster mom. I could see her anxiety over the transition.  We need to be able to talk with her about the move. And we need the foster parents to be able to assure her that this is a good thing and that it's ok to like us.  M was happy and fine with us, but when we got back to the foster home, she would hardly even say good bye to me.  I know this is normal, and Harmony did the same thing after visits, but it's difficult. The transition is hard on everyone.  We have our camping trip planned for July 11th through the 14th.  That's next week.  Jessica had said that we could take M with us.  She has therapy on Monday.  Please let me know how that goes and what we can expect next now that the judge ruled for TPR.  Thank you both for all of your time and support for all of us involved in this process.
ReBecca

* The more we get to spend time and get to know M, the more difficult it is to take her back after each visit. She is definitely growing in all of our hearts and hopefully we are growing in her's as well..












 

In the beginning

  

We have a match! 

One of my goals with the blog is to keep our family and friends updated on what's going on in our busy growing family.  Another goal is to have a record of our daughter's lives with us from the beginning.  Below is the very first email I received about M (we cannot share her name untill she is adopted by us for her privacy). 

Hello,
I just wanted to pass along this description.  It sounds like this little one has a lot of potential to progress.  I believe I am going to be sent a picture soon and will pass that on if you are interested.  Let me know if you want to be considered...  Hope you are enjoying this lovely weather!
March 16, 2013
M  is a 4 ½ year old, African-American female.She is average in height and weight, has brown eyes and her hair is usually in braids. M is in good physical health and is up-to-date on medical, dental and immunizations.
M has a trauma history related to past neglect and physical abuse. Due to this trauma,M displays moderate behavior challenges such as physical & verbal aggression and tantrums.M has been diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and a Sensory Disorder. She has a history of seizure/tic episodes that was determined to be a way her body coped with stress and anxiety. She has not displayed any seizure/tic episodes since Fall 2011. M has a history of aggression towards animals; however, has not displayed this behavior in over a year. At times, M has difficulty sleeping and has a tendency to wake up during the night.
To assist in managing M's behaviors, she is involved in a variety of therapeutic services including Individual Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Medication Management. She is prescribed medication for behavior modification including Adderall, Risperidone and Clonidine. These medications are monitored on a monthly basis and adjusted as needed.
M  is a smart, articulate and funny little girl. She enjoys playing dress-up, dancing, singing and coloring. She is very affectionate and enjoys being held. She also enjoys making other people laugh. Mhas a lot of energy and is always on-the-go. She enjoys playing outside and is excited to ride a bike and swim this summer.
M is in need of a loving, compassionate and active family. She would thrive in a two-parent family with no children her age. M's caregivers would need to be firm with rules and consistent with maintaining a routine. It would be very beneficial for M's caregivers to be open to maintaining her current services, if possible, and implementing techniques and strategies that have proven to be beneficial for her in the past. M consistently verbalizes an interest in wanting "a family of her own." With stability and permanence, M will make great strides and progress.
This is it.  From this email we needed to make a decision about submitting our homestudy for this little girl.  From this little email we may or may not have the opportunity to develop a life long relationship with a child that will for the rest of our lives be our daughter.  We read this little email, then prayed alot!  Then without any hesitation...we said YES! 

 

Happy New Year!!!

 

2012 was filled with blessings!  We're ready to jump into new adventures in the new year!  You...Rah...Rah...2013! 

 

Check out Harmony's Christmas gifts from her awesome God parents.  Fringe leather boots and a cheerleading outfit.  She has worn nothing else since she opened these.  She is such a little fashioniesta!  Orange and White are her school colors, AKA the TIGERS!  Harmony loves to cheer along with the cheerleaders.  In our school, grades K-8, girls have to be in 4th grade to join the cheer squad.  Harmony is only in 2nd, but she knows every cheer. Now she can cheer like the cheerleaders from the stands during basketball games. 

 

Thank you Uncle Dan and Aunt Louie!

&

Thank you Uncle Jack and Aunt Dawn!